Heart's Desire Ch 5

Chapter 5

He laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. Then he continued his voice just barely above a whisper; if I had not walked closer to the bed I would not have been able to hear him.

“I didn’t know if you were coming back; you didn’t say you would be gone for a couple of days so I was worried my behavior the other day had ran you off.”

“Look Eric, I’m not sure what that was about the other day, but I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

“No Sookie, it’s me that should apologize, I did not handle things very well. You did not know about the flowers and I reacted badly. Please accept my apology?”

“I still don’t know about the flowers. I don’t understand why you didn’t want them or at least find out who they were from. It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

He took a deep breath and sighed. “It’s just a part of my life I don’t want to deal with right now, that’s all.”

“But...” He cut me off.

“Sookie, please just accept my apology and honor my wishes for now. Please?”

“Fine, whatever.” I decided it was time to change the topic of conversation to a safer subject. “So tell me the gossip, what I have missed since I have been gone, does Ms. Jenkins in 23A still have a thing for Mr. Abernathy in 21B?”

He stared at me in disbelief for a moment before realizing I was joking and began to chuckle. “Well, I don’t know any thing about the tawdry affairs that go on down on the geriatric wing, but do have one surprise. Watch.”

He slowly raised his left arm up and brought his fingers to lightly touch his nose. Then with apparent pain he slowly lowered his arm back down by his side while his face sported the biggest shit eatin’ grin I have ever seen. I don’t care how tired I was at that point, that look had made the entire trip to the hospital worth it.

“ERIC! That’s amazing! I’m gone for two days and look, you’re already your moving your arm. I can’t believe it. How does it feel, does it hurt?”

“Only a little, not nearly as much as it did when we first started. Of course I’m right handed so it’s almost as useless as tits on a bull, but you can’t imagine how good it feels to be able to touch your own nose.”

“Miss pickin’ your nose there Northman?”

“Cute, Stackhouse. No, let’s just say I have a new appreciation for even the simplest tasks. But that’s not everything; they also said I would probably be getting out of traction in the next few days. Of course I will have to have braces, but I would at least be able to start making some movement.”

I felt the water welling up in my eyes as I heard the excitement in his voice. He had been in so much obvious pain for so long now; it was overwhelming to hear the anticipation in his voice. Then he abruptly stopped talking.

“Sookie, what’s the matter, why are you crying?”

“It’s nothing Eric, I’m just so happy for you.”

“Those tears are for me?” The confusion in his voice was more than evident. “I don’t understand, you hardly know me.”

“I know enough to realize that you have been through a terrible ordeal.” He acted like he was about to interrupt when I put my hand up to stop him. “I understand you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not asking you to. But obviously this has been awfully painful, so to see you excited and happy, well…it makes me happy.”

He stared at me for a minute and then smiled and nodded his head without saying anything.

“Well look, it’s getting late, I just wanted to stop by for a few minutes before going home but you need to get some rest now, so I’m going to head on out.”

He looked disappointed. “Yeah, you’re probably tired too. Thanks for coming by.”

“No problem, I’ll see you tomorrow OK?”

Then the smile returned his face, the same smile that made those big, bright, blue, beautiful eyes dance. “OK, Goodnight Sookie.”

I swear the combination of those eyes and the sound of his voice saying my name almost made my heart skip a beat. Girl, get a hold of yourself!

I decided to go to the hospital early the next morning, I was off work for the next couple of days and I didn’t like thinking of Eric in the hospital room all alone.

When I got to Eric’s room the door was open and I could hear talking, so I decided to wait outside in the hall while they finished their discussion before going in.

“Mr. Northman, someone from the physical therapy department will be by a couple times a day to increase your therapy on your upper body and in a few days we’ll begin on your lower extremity rehabilitation. Now for your upper body, the more often you can do these exercises the faster your recovery will be, but they do require assistance. If you have friends or family members visiting with you I would be happy to show them how to help you with this.”

I could barely hear Eric’s response. “No, there’s no one; I will just have to get by on the two times a day for now.”

I couldn’t stay out in the hall any longer. I knocked once on the open door and headed straight into the room.

“Nonsense Doc, show me what I need to do; I will help him with the exercises anytime I can.” I turned to look at Eric and greeted him quietly. “Good morning. I know you weren’t expecting me yet, but I was off today so I thought I would come by early.”

Eric looked shocked to see me and for a moment I thought I had crossed that imaginary, yet bold line between casual and personal. Maybe he wouldn’t want my help. Maybe this was something that was just too personal for him to accept any outside help. Maybe he is alone because he wishes to be alone. Then he responded.

“Dr. Comstock, this is Sookie Stackhouse. She’s…” she’s what, a hospital volunteer, a lunatic, a meddling busy body? What? Then my favorite smile spread across his face. “…my friend.”

“Nice to meet you Ms. Stackhouse; if you have time now I can go ahead and show you what we are working on with Mr. Northman?”

“Certainly, but please call me Sookie.” I answered while putting my keys and sweater down on the chair by the window. Summer was almost here outside, but inside the hospital could get chilly sometimes, so a sweater is a good idea.

We spent the next 30 minutes or so going over all of Eric’s stretching exercises. He explained the additional restrictions his right arm and shoulder had compared to his left. His right side had been damaged more severely and rehab was going to take a little longer on that side. Dr. Comstock demonstrated exactly how I needed to position his arms and how to provide a little resistance for him to push against.

“Now, these are stretching exercises that will strengthen the muscle some without overdoing it, but allow pain to be your guide. When you’re tired, stop. If it hurts, stop. I would rather you do these for just a few minutes several times a day rather than pushing yourself to the point of pain once or twice a day. Do you understand?”

We both nodded. “Doctor, is there anything else I can do for him to help speed his recovery?” Eric was a little surprised by my request.

“Well, the only other thing I could suggest would be light massages. Nothing deep tissue you understand, but light massages would help get the blood flowing throughout the muscles and speed up healing.” Massages??? Oh, dear God in heaven, why can I not keep my damn mouth shut? I just nodded and tried to look as nonchalant as possible and act as though he had in no way suggested that I gently rub my hands all over the upper torso of the Norse god that was lying on the bed in front of me. When I turned back to look at Eric, I couldn’t help but notice the red that seeped into his cheeks. Ah, you liked that idea didn’t you?

The doctor made his notes on the chart while giving Eric some additional instructions. I took this opportunity to remove his breakfast tray and place it on the cart in the hall and go refill his pitcher of ice water. By the time I got back to the room the doctor had left and Eric had begun his stretching exercises again.

“Hey wait, let me help you with that.” I said while putting the pitcher down on the bedside table.

“Sookie, I appreciate all that you have done for me already. You really don’t have to do this you know.”

“Don’t be stupid, I would not have offered if I didn’t want to help. Besides, we’re friends right?” I offered a smile that was quickly returned by one of his. Be still my heart! “You just let me know if any thing I am doing hurts, deal?”

“Deal.”

We began going through the workout we had just learned step by step taking our time to insure we were doing them properly and not causing him any pain. Had I known I was going to be leaning, pushing and pulling this morning I would have chosen my wardrobe a little differently. The sundress I had worn was not extremely low cut, but the added leaning and stretching was actually putting the girls out on display more than I was comfortable with. More than once I caught Eric’s eyes drop to take in the view. I considered busting his chops about it, but I decided to cut him some slack and let it slide. Saint Sookie reporting for duty.

When I looked up at the clock it was almost noon already, we had worked on his exercises all morning, but he was beginning to appear a little fatigued. “Hey, how are you doing there? You ready to take a break yet?”

“Yeah, I guess. My arms are a little sore and you must be getting tired by now yourself.”

“I’m fine, but I was thinking if you wanted to take a little break I could go to the deli around the corner and pick us up some lunch. They have great sandwiches. That is if you like sandwiches?”

“Sookie seriously, you don’t have to do all this for me.”

“Fine, do you want me to leave?”

“No.” He answered a little too quickly.

“Do you enjoy hospital food?”

“No.”

“Do you like sandwiches?”

“A sandwich sounds terrific.”

“Great. Then stop all your pissin’ and moaning Northman and tell me what you want for lunch.”

He grinned. I melted. And then he answered. “I’ll take a Reuben. You say this place is good? Well any deli worth their salt better be able to make a good Reuben. So let’s see what your little place has got Stackhouse.”

“Prepare to be impressed! I will be back in 20 minutes. You’ll be here when I get back, right?” I quipped while gathering my sweater and keys.

“Funny Stackhouse.”

I could still hear him chuckling when I left the room.

The Deli was packed when I got there so it took me about 40 minutes to pickup our order and get back to Eric’s room.

“Damn Sookie, what took you so long? I was beginning to get worried.”

“Worked up an appetite there did ya?”

“I don’t think you realize how slow time passes when you are laying here like this?”

His comment made my heart hurt. He was right. I didn’t realize. I couldn’t imagine lying there day after day without family or friends, dependent on strangers for my basic needs. I suddenly wanted to cry again, but I shook off that feeling and went about setting up for lunch.

“I’m sorry Eric, the place was packed, I got back as quick as I could.”

“I know, it’s not your fault. It’s just…” he paused seemingly gathering his thoughts, “…well never mind, you’re back now. Let’s eat. How does everything look?”

“The Reuben is HUGE.” I pulled it out of the bag and showed him how thick it was. “Trying to get this in your mouth should be interesting to watch.” I decided this could be messy, so I pulled one of the towels off of his shelf and laid it out on his chest like I did the second day I came in to feed him. He gave me a knowing look and smiled. We decided he could probably handle his chips himself. He was not very coordinated with his left hand, but he wanted to try so we placed the bag where he could reach them on his own.

I picked up half of his sandwich and tried to pinch it together as well as I could and offered it to him. He was able to get a pretty good hunk of the corner of the sandwich. He started to chew and soon closed his eyes and began to moan a little.

“Oh my God Sookie, that is wonderful.”

“Silly boy, why did you ever doubt me?”

“I wasn’t thinking, you know the medication and all, but I will never doubt your ability to pick a sandwich joint ever again.”

“See that you don’t. I won’t tolerate your continual lapse in judgment.”

We continued picking at each other during the remainder of the meal. He did pretty good eating the chips with his left hand. I tried not to giggle when he would stick his hand in the bag causing the bag to move away just outside of his reach but sometimes I just could not contain myself.

“So, what do you want to do now?” I asked when we were finished with lunch. “Do you want to watch TV?” He shook his head. “Do you want to rest? I could leave if you want to take a nap.”

“No!” He said again rather suddenly. “Well, I mean…do you want to go?”

“Eric, I told you I’m off today, I have no plans but to spend time with you so what’s your heart’s desire?”

He flashed me a devilish grin. Well, that’s new, where did that come from? but then it was gone replaced by a more determined smile.

“Would you mind helping me with my exercises again?”

“I’d be happy to, just let me wash my hands and we can get started.”

We worked through his regime a couple of times and he seemed to be getting better and better as his muscles warmed up.

“Sookie, I want to try pushing my right arm a little harder. Can you come around to the other side of the bed and let me brace against your hand and to try to push a little more?”

“Eric are you sure, remember the doctor said to go slower with that arm. I don’t want you to do something you will regret later.”

“I won’t, I just think I could be doing a little more with it. If it starts to hurt I’ll stop, I promise.”

“OK, but I’d like to let the record show that I was against this idea.”

“Noted. Now quit nagging and come over to the other side of the bed.” No he didn’t just call me a nag did he?

“You screw that arm up and I will show you nagging, Northman.”

I braced myself along the right side of the bed and put my hands out like Dr. Comstock had shown me for his left side. Eric slowly raised his arm up so that his hands were touching mine with his arm slightly bent. He began to straighten his arm carefully while pushing against my hands.

“Oh, God it feels so good to move that arm again. Come a little closer Sookie, I want to try just a little harder.”

“Eric you are pushing your luck, keep actin’ a fool and you will end up in the hospital.”

“Funny Stackhouse!”

I stepped just a little closer, I was only willing to participate minimally in this madness. He again placed his hands against my hands and began pushing against them. Then suddenly his shoulder jerked, his hands slid from mine forcing his arm forward with a jolt.

“SHIT! SONOFABITCHMOTHERFUCKER!” Eric rarely cussed, but apparently he had been saving up.

“Oh my God, Eric are you alright? Do I need to get the doctor?”

“NO! Just give me a minute! I’ll be alright.” His eyes were closed and he was breathing very heavy almost panting.

“I’m so sorry, what can I do to help?”

“You really want to know?” His voice was still loud and I couldn’t tell if was mad at me or if it was the pain that was causing him to yell.

“Yes, anything. Tell me.”

“Please don’t say I told you so!” He opened his eyes and smiled. He was still obviously in pain but smiling nonetheless.

“YOU IDIOT! You scared the shit out of me; I thought your arm was coming off.”

“For a moment I did too. It hurt like a son of a bitch, but ahh, for that second just before the spasm, it felt great!”

“Ok. Well you’re not talking me in to taking part in your little experiments in lunacy ever again. Got it? Now, seriously what can we do to make it feel better? Is it time for your pain meds yet?”

“I’m sure it probably is, would you call the nurse?”

“I’ll go to the nurses’ desk that may be quicker.” I went out and spoke with the nurse covering his room for the day shift, and she said she would bring some right down. I decided to take minute for myself to get collected after that little scare. So I went to the ladies room in the nurses’ lounge to freshen up and pull myself together. When I got back to the room the nurse had already come in and given him his medicine and left. He was lying with his eyes closed and he had his left hand over his right shoulder trying to rub it some.

“Would you like for me to do that?” I asked before I really considered what I was saying, but he was in pain and I wanted it to stop.

“Nah, you don’t have to. I’m sure it will be fine in a few minutes.”

I ignored what he was saying and walked over to the right side of the bed. He moved his left hand back down to his side when I got up to the head of the bed. I took a few seconds to rub my hands together, I’ve always had cold hands and I didn’t want to startle him. I placed my hands on his shoulder gingerly, and Eric closed his eyes and hissed.

“I’m sorry Eric, I was trying to be careful, did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m fine. Really, go ahead.”

I placed my hands on his shoulders again and began to gently knead the muscles of his shoulder and arm. I was so afraid of causing him any more pain that it took me a few minutes to realize that I had the shoulder of a god in my hands. I began to deepen the movement just a little, remembering not to go too deep as the doctor warned. Eric had laid his head all the way back on his pillow and had closed his eyes again. His mouth would partially open in between the tiny moans that were escaping every few seconds. As I continued to work the muscles of his shoulders and pecs his moans became louder and longer.

“God Sookie, do you have any idea how good that feels?” Uh, yes I do know, thanks for asking!

“I’m glad it feels good, I hope it is making your shoulder feel better.” But honestly I can’t imagine your shoulder feeling any better than it does right now.

“It does, thank you and I’ve learned a very valuable lesson today.”

“And what would that be? How important it is to follow your doctor’s instructions?”

“No, that’s not it. I learned that hurting myself is worth it if you’re going to rub it and make it feel better!”

“OK, smartass that’s enough of that. Obviously you’re feeling better now, so I guess it’s time for me to go.”

He quickly got serious. “Do you really have to go now? I mean I understand if you do, but are you sure you have to go?”

“I really should. I need to stop by the store and pick up a few things and you need your rest, you’ve had a big day.”

He looked so helpless and sad lying there. I swear his bottom lip was stuck out pouting. I was having a hard time keeping up my resolve. I don’t think he realized just how much today’s activities were going to impact his body. He was really going to need his rest.

“When will I see you again?” He asked softly.

“Well, I’m off again tomorrow. I was hoping you would let me come visit you again tomorrow.”

His face lit up. “Definitely! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Damn those eyes!