Heart's Desire Ch 12

Chapter 12

SPOV

How could this happen? Never had I allowed myself to get so close to someone this quickly, friend or otherwise. It just wasn’t in me. Amelia had warned about getting too close, but I knew it didn’t apply to me because it just wasn’t possible. I wasn’t that kind of girl, that kind of person. I kept my heart protected carefully. Again, I’m sure the walls I had built up were probably due in part to the loss of my parents at an early age but none the less they were there. I don’t know, maybe that was the reason I had never found love; not true love anyway. I mean there were guys who tried to scale the wall, but they always gave up before reaching the top. Yet here was Eric, who seemingly without effort had climbed all the way to the top and was just sitting there swinging his legs off on the other side. Sookie girl, you have finally lost your damn mind.

I stood there, numbly refilling salt and pepper shakers. It was the end of the third day of my 3 day run of doubles and I was dead on my feet. Normally the hustle and bustle of a double shift would have been enough to keep my mind occupied, but after 3 days, the void of not seeing him was almost unbearable. I had to put an end to this now. Any time we had together was going to be temporary; we both knew that, there was no need to postpone the inevitable. Dragging it out any longer would just make it harder later. It was time to just rip off the band aid and let it heal. Got any other clichés you would like to throw in there? Why don't you just go ahead and add the musical score and take it to Broadway, girl. Shut up!

The past four days had been brutal. Barely an hour had past after leaving the hospital the other day when I received a text message from a number I did not recognize.

Sookie,

I apologize for Selah’s behavior. She was wrong. Are you OK?

Eric

Obviously Eric had commandeered someone’s cell phone so I was hoping he would have it long enough to receive my reply. Selah was the least of my problems, but I did not want him to worry, so I tried to sound as upbeat as I could when I responded.

Eric,

Not a problem. See you in a few days.

Sookie

The next night I received another message from the same number.

I miss you Sookie.

Eric

Gawd, he was killing me. I wanted to say how much I missed him too. I wanted to tell him that I had hardly thought about anything but him for the last 48 hours, hell for that matter, the last couple of weeks. That’s what I wanted tell him. But I didn’t. Instead I kept it simple.

I’ll see you soon.

Sookie

When I got home that night Amelia was still up in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on a cake. It was rare for her to be up this late on a week night, but I haven’t seen her in awhile so I was glad she was.

“Hey chic, what are you still doing up? Channeling Betty Crocker again?”

“Something like that.” She snickered. “No actually, I was waiting on you. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Aww, you missed me. I missed you too. So what’s up?”

“Not much, how ‘bout you?”

“Usual, just working my ass off but yet, oh look, there it is.” I said while craning my head around to try to see my own ass, while we both laughed.

“How are things with Mr.29B?”

I’m sure she saw me stiffen when the topic turned to Eric but I tried to sound as detached from the subject as I could.

“Well apparently he’s found a cell phone, because I’ve gotten a couple of text messages from him.” I said while pouring myself a glass of iced tea.

“Yeah, his assistant came in the other day and brought him a laptop and a Blackberry. I thought he said you met her?”

“Oh, I met her, except she introduced herself to me as his girlfriend, not his assistant.”

“Well, I hope you didn’t buy the act, because after the exchange I witnessed between the two of them, I can assure you nothing could be further from the truth.” She seemed to be trying to comfort me with her revelation.

“Nah, you don’t grow up as Jason Stackhouse’s little sister and not speak fluent Bullshit. I know a Wannabe when I see one.”

The fact was Selah had caught me off guard, but not because of her claim to be Eric’s girlfriend, I knew that had to be a lie. The problem with Selah was that she was a reminder of Eric’s life outside of the hospital. His real life, not his temporary existence here in Bon Temps; here with me. That little nugget of knowledge had been safely tucked away, way back in crevices of my mind to be dealt with later. That was until Selah brought it crashing to the forefront.

“Well I’m glad because he really seemed to be worried about you.”

“I’m fine Roomie, I’m a big girl.”

I wanted to scream. I was so not fine, but I just couldn’t bear the ‘I told you so’ from my roommate, especially since she made a point of telling me not to get attached to the patients. I knew she would never say it, but I would still feel it. Nope, it was time to put my big girl panties on and set things right.

Later that same night I got another message from Eric.

Sook,

I really miss you!

E

Jeez I was dying. Again I tried to keep my response straightforward and frankly emotionless.

Eric,

You’re crazy! Talk to ya later.

Sookie

When I got his message tonight, after four days of being away, it confirmed my decision to put distance between us. I couldn’t keep doing this to myself; my heart could not take it.

Sook,

I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I miss you so much!

E

My response this evening was easy.

Eric,

I’ll see ya tomorrow.

Sookie

TBC