Heart's Desire Ch 3

Chapter 3

I drove home from the hospital on autopilot, too tired to care that I was going several miles over the speed limit. It had been a grueling day after being up all night waiting for Tara to give birth followed by the fiasco with Mr. Northman. I was exhausted and grateful that I had the day off, Amelia would still be at the hospital for awhile, so I could enjoy having the house to myself. A nice, long, hot bath followed by an even longer nap was all my heart desired.

Arriving at the house I could hardly get up the stairs fast enough to the master bath. I quickly started the water running in the tub, added some relaxing salts to the stream and debated about music before opting for silence instead. My clothes had been on so long that I had to practically peel them from my skin. I considered burning them but tossed them in the hamper instead and slowly stepped in to immerse myself in the relaxing liquid. I took a hand towel, folded it, laid my head back and closed my eyes to revel in my “Calgon, take me away” moment.

My mind could not find respite; it raced from one emotion to another without relief. My pride wanted me to be angry with him for the way he spoke to me. Who did he think he was dismissing me from his room like that? Didn’t his mother teach him better? And speaking of family, where were they? Where were his friends? I didn’t know what had caused his injuries, but I felt sure if I ever suffered something like that, someone would be at the hospital with me for the duration. Why was he alone? And then I recalled those eyes; those big beautiful blue eyes. My own began to water just remembering them. How could something so beautiful hold so much hurt and despair? Sookie, get a hold of yourself, why do you even give a damn? But for some reason I did.

I had laid there long enough for the water to begin to turn cold, so I quickly got out, dried off and put on a tank top and pajama bottoms and went downstairs to get a bite to eat before heading to bed. I would probably be asleep when Amelia got home from the hospital; I considered staying up to wait for her and see what she could tell me about Eric, but she was working a double and would definitely be exhausted when she got home. Amelia is a great girl with a heart of gold, but when she’s tired, she can be a real witch. I decided to just wait and talk with her in the morning.

I crawled in bed around 4:00 p.m. and was dead to the world before my head could hit the pillow.

The next morning I came barreling downstairs around 7:30 with my hair still wet from the shower. Amelia was more than a little shocked to see me so early.

“Well, good morning sunshine, what has you up and at ‘em so early?” She asked while reaching for the coffee pot to pour me a cup.

“Amelia, I have finally discovered that I could be a morning person like you if I would just go to bed everyday before dinner!” I took the coffee from her and began adding my sugar.

“Don’t you think that might put a damper on your social life?”

“Social life? Slinging burgers and serving swill to the customers of Merlotte’s does not constitute a social life.” I sighed slightly depressed that my comment was more truth than joke.

Amelia was quick to change the subject. “So what’s on your agenda for today, I think the weather is supposed to be pretty good, are you going to layout?”

There has never been a bigger sun worshipper than yours truly, if the sun is shinning and I’m not at work, you will find me stretched out in the back yard with the Ipod cranked and the tea on ice. But I decided to forgo the solar adoration today; I had something else in mind.

“I’m off today and I have the dinner shift for the next several days after that so I was wondering if you could still use some help at the hospital? I mean, I will probably be up there any way checking in on Tara and the baby, so I thought if you could use a couple more hands, then I would be glad to help.”

“Oh Sookie, that would be fantastic, I could really use your help with supply inventory and restocking some shelves.”

“Um, I was thinking maybe I could help with the meals again if that is alright with you. I’d be happy to help with Mr. Northman again.” Sookie, you’re sounding too eager! “And any other patients that may need help.” Please, Please don’t ask me how it went yesterday.

“You want to help Mr. Northman again?” She sounded somewhat shocked by my request.

“Well, I mean… I’ve already met him and you’ve shown me how pull the trays and such, so I’ve already been trained therefore you could be free to do other things.”

Amelia laughed, “Sookie, it doesn’t take any ‘training’ to feed a patient; what’s there to learn? Put the food in their mouths and don’t spill any, it doesn’t take genius to figure that out.”

Apparently it does. “I just thought that since this was something I was already comfortable with, maybe I should just stick to it. Is that ok?”

“Sure, whatever help you are willing to offer, I am willing to take.”

“Amelia, tell me about Mr. Northman, how did he get hurt?”

“Sookie, you know I can’t tell you any of that, when I started working at the hospital, I agreed never to discuss those types of things. Which reminds me, if you are going to be working there, you will need to stop by the office and sign a confidentiality agreement too. You can do it on your way in.”

“But since I am going to be working there doesn’t that mean you can tell me?”

“Sookie, I don’t really know the extent of his injuries, and as far as any other information, that’s up to Mr. Northman to tell you what he wants you to know.”

It’s times like these that I wished I was telepathic and could hear what she was thinking, but I knew she took her volunteer position at the hospital very seriously and she was not going to allow some idle chit chat ruin that.

“OK, what time do you need me to be there?”

“Well, I’m heading there shortly, if you want to just come on now, that will give you time to see Tara and the baby before starting your duties. I guess we’ll have to drive separately since you will probably be ready to leave long before I will.”

“Alright, I will be ready in just a few minutes.”

I ran upstairs to finish getting dressed, my hair was almost dry now so I just pulled it up into a ponytail and put on a little make up. I had already had several occasions to lay out this year, so my face was beginning to get that summertime glow and I really didn’t need much make up. I stood at my closet door for much longer than usual trying to decide what to wear. I considered a sundress, but decided against it just in case I wound up doing any bending or stooping while helping Amelia no need to put on a show. Instead I pulled on some jeans and a tank top with a small short periwinkle sweater just in case it got a little cool in the hospital.

My mind was racing during the entire drive to the hospital. I knew I wanted to do this, Eric and I hadn’t exactly parted on very good terms yesterday, so I was a little nervous that he would not give me the chance to make a better impression on him but I needed to try.

When I arrived at the hospital I stopped by the office to fill out the Volunteer forms and then I went straight up to see Tara and the baby. Both were sleeping when I arrived, but Tara woke shortly after I walked in. I handed her the small teddy bear I purchased a couple of weeks ago, grateful I had not waited until closer to her delivery date to shop for a gift. I figured the rest she was getting in the hospital right now was probably the only good rest she would get for awhile, so I used my volunteer responsibilities as an excuse to leave, but I assured her I would be back the next day.

I made my way back down to Amelia’s area over by the nurses’ desk while the kitchen staff was just beginning to roll out the carts with the patient’s meals. After checking in with Amelia, I headed down the hall toward Eric’s room.

I stood outside of his room holding the food tray and with my heart pounding out of my chest, I knocked.

“Come in.” I heard him call in soft voice.

I took a deep breath and crossed the threshold to his room. “Good Afternoon, Mr. Northman.” I decided I’d better address him a little more formally today. “Are you ready for your lunch?”

Instantly his countenance changed from one of peace to pain. “For the love of God Ms. Stackhouse, am I going to have to get a restraining order? Why in the hell are you back in my room?”

“Please Mr. Northman, I know things did not go well yesterday, and I understand that some how I offended you, but I need for you to understand I am sorry, I’m not usually clumsy and I really would like for you to forgive me.” I smiled a sincere smile.

“OK, fine! I forgive you. Now will you please just get out and leave me alone? I don’t think I am hungry anymore.”

He turned his head away from me, but I could hear the hurt in his voice.

A rational person would have just chalk this up to a bad experience and walked away; unfortunately I was rarely accused of being rational. I could not shake the feeling that there was more to this situation and something I could do to help him. Even as a child I was always bringing home strays and my friends often accused me of believing I could fix anybody that was broken. And Eric Northman was broken.

I placed the tray on the bedside table and began to pull it over to the side of the bed. “Look, I’m already here, if you wait for someone else who knows when they will get around to feeding you. Let me help you with lunch, I really want to make it up to you for yesterday.” I was prepare for him to scream at me to get out again, but instead he just sighed heavily and nodded.

“Very well, but I would prefer we do this in silence if it’s all the same to you.”

“As you wish, I won’t speak unless absolutely necessary.”

I quietly finished removing the covers from his food and then went to the sink to get a towel. I came back and spread the towel out over his chest tucking it carefully under his chin and over his shoulders. I leaned over him slightly to reach his right shoulder being mindful of his brace and the straps that lead to the traction unit over his bed. I heard him take a sudden deep breath; I turned quickly to his face, scared that I had accidentally touched him in some way and caused him pain. But his head was leaned back on his pillow; his eyes were closed with a hint of a smile on his face. Why Mr. Northman, did you just sniff me?

“Are you ok, did I hurt you?” In a snap his eyes were open again and any indication of a smile was gone.

“I’m fine Ms. Stackhouse.” Again, with his dismissive tone.

I didn’t bother to tell him what they had sent for his meal, I was determined not to give him any reason to get upset with me again. We sat in silence for about 30 minutes while I fed him. Once he was done, I carefully wiped his mouth fighting the urge to touch it with something other than the napkin; I removed his towel and pushed the table back to the far side of the room. After gathering up all of the trash, I picked up the tray and headed toward the door.

He was staring straight ahead out the window when I stopped to tell him good bye.

“I hope you have pleasant afternoon Mr. Northman, I will see you tomorrow”. He didn’t respond so I turned to leave but took one last look at him and without a doubt saw a small smile on his face.

Ah, Gotcha!

TBC