Heart's Desire Chapter 32

Chapter 32

EPOV

For the next two weeks things moved at a break neck pace.

Without divulging why, Sookie talked to Selah about recommending an OB/GYN in

Shreveport and after pulling some strings she was able to get Sookie an appointment with the group she goes to almost right away.

I never doubted Sookie was pregnant, hell I saw the box full of positive tests, but having the doctor confirm the existence of a future Northman really drove home the reality of it to me.

I was going to be a father…no, better than that…I was going to be somebody’s daddy.

I met with my attorney and accountant right away and made changes to my will and had trust funds and various accounts set up for Sookie and the baby. If nothing else I had learned recently that no one was guaranteed tomorrow and God forbid if anything happened to me before I could get her to marry me I wanted to make sure she and my baby were taken care of.

My baby.

God I loved the way that sounded.

My baby.

I couldn’t have been happier. I was walking so tall I thought I might have to have the hem of my pants let down.

I reluctantly agreed to keep this our secret at least until she could tell our friends and family when they came up for the weekend. So instead, without being able to offer an explanation, I just looked like a buffoon walking around with a shit eating grin on my face every day.

“Stop it Eric!” Sookie groaned for the third time pushing my hands away.

She was half sitting and half lying on the exam table while we waited for the doctor to come in for her appointment. She had seen the doctor two weeks ago basically just for a quickie to confirm the pregnancy but this was to be the first full consultation. Whatever the hell that meant. All I knew was that we were having the first ultrasound today and I was jacked up that I was going to be able to see my baby.

My baby. Did I mention how much I liked the sound of that?

“I can’t help it Love, I can’t seem to keep my hands off of you.” I offered in response.

It was true, since finding out Sookie was pregnant I felt like I had to be touching her all the time, it didn’t seem to bother her since apparently pregnancy does something fucktastic to the woman’s libido. Hell, we were going at it like bunnies before the pregnancy, now it was the stuff pornos were made from.

“Well, if you keep that up you’re going to make me wet and I have to have an exam in few minutes.” She scolded.

“Sookie, she’s a gynecologist, she understands natural body reactions.” I said still nuzzling her neck.

Suddenly Sookie reached out and grabbed my junk giving it a firm squeeze and a couple of quick strokes.

“So you don’t mind sporting a boner when you met my doctor for the first time…after all…it is a natural body reaction?”

Touché

“Okay…okay…I’ll be good.” I conceded and she released her grip and gave me a smirk.

Seconds later Dr. Brigant entered the room.

“It’s good to see you again, Sookie.” She said as she entered the room still looking at the chart in her hand. “Oh, I see we have company for this visit.” She added after she looked up and saw me standing by Sookie’s side.

“Eric Northman.” I said as I offered my hand to her.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Northman…and are you the proud papa?” She asked as she washed her hands and reached for a pair of exam gloves.

“Please call me Eric…and yes and I couldn’t be prouder.”

I knew my shit eatin’ grin was back, but Dr. Brigant had been the first person I had openly been able to admit that to and I was going to enjoy every second of it.

For the next few minutes the doctor went through her exam and took down all the vital information she required then called her assistant to prepare for the ultrasound.

“Now Sookie, while they’re getting everything set up for your ultrasound, do you have any questions for me?”

Sookie had been rather quiet up until this point and I was curious as to just what was going on in her head.

“Actually doctor, I do have one question…how?”

I jerked my head to look at Sookie’s face which offered no insight as to what she was thinking. Meanwhile Dr. Brigant was enjoying a good chuckle.

“Well Sookie, I would hope a woman of your age and education would know by now how this happens; but I assume you are questioning how you got pregnant while on birth
control. Am I correct?”

Sookie nodded her head. “I know I’m not perfect, but I was damn near close when it came to those pills.”

I zoned out during the first part of Dr. Brigant’s response, less concerned with the answer than the reason for the question. Was she asking this for my benefit? Was she still worried that I thought she got pregnant on purpose?

“…while some studies show the pills failure rate to be as high as 2 in 100. Even taken perfectly the pill is still not 100% effective. You my dear, probably just got taken by the odds.” She said with a reassuring smile.

“Now, why don’t we move to the other room so we can take a look at this little treasure?” Dr. Brigant said and we made our way down the small hallway.

After a little adjusting of the equipment and getting Sookie situated on the table we were ready to start.

“OK Sookie, I’m going to squirt a little gel on here and we’ll take a look.”
She moved the paddle like wand over Sookie’s glistening belly trying to locate the exact angle to get the view she required. She “umed” and “hmmed” several times looking over the various images which closely resembled a distorted image from a black and white tv from back the 60’s to me.

And then suddenly the picture came in to focus.

There on the screen was what appeared to be a tiny jelly bean and faintly…just faintly, you could see the tiny thump…thump…thump of a heart beat. I quickly looked up at the doctor hoping for confirmation of what I was seeing.

“Well, there we are. I was afraid you were going to hide from us today, little one.” Dr. Brigant spoke to my baby on the screen.

My baby.

I felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest. The visible evidence of the heart beat of my child was just about to do me in. I couldn’t stop the tears that were falling down my face and when I felt Sookie squeeze my hand, I looked over and saw the same tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Sookie, everything looks great. I’m just going to take a few pictures for your chart and then we’ll be all done here. By the way, I’ll have copies of these pictures at the front desk waiting for you when you check out in case you want to share your news.”

“Thank you doctor.” We said at the same time, neither one of us taking our eyes off the images on the monitor.

We left the doctor’s office and headed to our favorite little bistro uptown for lunch in comfortable introspective quiet. Finally after we placed our orders and received our drinks I broke the silence.

“Sookie, I realize this is not candlelight and roses…and I’ll give you those things…you know I will, but.” I took a deep breath and continued. “Marry me, please?”

I don’t know what I was thinking. This was not how or when I planned to propose to her but I couldn’t help it. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, but I would be damned if I was taking them back. It may not have been how and when, but I meant it and I was not about to back down now.

I stared at Sookie’s face having a hard time keeping up with the expressions. Her initial look of shock was quickly replaced by one of fear and then…sadness?

“Eric, I need to make something clear to you and I hope you’ll understand that I mean this from the bottom of my heart.”

Shit, nothing good ever follows a sentence like that. I could feel fear building up inside of me as I waited for her to take a sip of her drink before she reached out and took my hand and continued.

“Now that I know how much this baby means to you, I would never do anything to keep him or her from you. You will be a part of this baby’s life for as long as you want to be. You don’t have to marry me to make that happen. This baby is just as much yours as it is mine, nothing will ever change that.” She gave a reassuring squeeze to my hand.

“Sookie, me wanting to marry you has nothing to do with the baby. It may have sped up my timing a little bit, but I assure you, I’ve wanted to marry you since the day I came home from the hospital. I love you, I knew it that day and my love for you has done nothing but grow since then. And now…you having my baby…well, I just want the three of us to be a family.”

God, even I could hear the desperation in my words but I had never wanted something so badly in my life. To have a family again, to be connected by blood to another living being again, I couldn’t even put in to words what that meant to me.

I knew she was being sincere when she said she would never keep the baby from me, it just wasn’t in her to do something like that. But being the baby’s father wasn’t enough, I wanted…no needed… to be her husband. As much as I wanted my baby, I wanted her just as much if not more. Greedy bastard!

The silence was deafening. She wouldn’t even raise her head to look at me and without seeing her eyes; I was at a loss as to what she was thinking.

“Eric, I don’t know.” Her eyes never left the napkin she was playing with on the table. “Everyone is going to think I tried to trap you into marrying me.”

I was wondering when this would rear its ugly head.

“Do you think that is what your friends and family will believe?” I kept my voice calm hiding the frustration behind my words.

“No! Of course not. They know I would never do anything like that.” At least that got her to look up at me.

“Then who the hell cares what anyone else thinks? Look, if you don’t want to marry me because it’s not what you want or it’s not what you want right now, then fine. I’ll accept that. But if you don’t want to marry me because you are worried about what some small minded nobodies might think, then I’m sorry but that is unacceptable.”

“Eric, you don’t understand…” I cut her off before she could make her point.

“I understand that you’re more worried about what some may say or think about us than you are about what would make us happy.”

OK, I didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did and I may have gone a little overboard with my argument.

“That’s just it Eric, they won’t be saying these things about you! They’ll be saying them about me!” I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “Oh yeah, you might get a “poor sucker” every once in a while, but I’ll be the one that gets the “white trash hustler “or “gold digging whore”. Just how happy do you think we’ll be hearing all that?”

I got up out of my seat and went over to her side of the booth, slid in and pulled her to me. I didn’t mean to hurt her with my words and I certainly never looked at things from her perspective before. My life had afforded me the luxury of being removed from petty public opinions, as long as I did nothing that would harm my holdings, then individual opinions had never mattered a damn to me. But considering things from her viewpoint brought up aspects I had not considered.

“I’m so sorry Love, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I said as I pulled her close and kissed her head as she laid her head on my shoulder. “Look at me Sookie.” I asked, and she raised her head to face me.

“We are always going to have haters, no matter what we do. I don’t care if you were a rich virgin that I dated for two years prior to proposal, somebody somewhere would find something negative to say about the union. And I’ll admit, my lifestyle has created a cocoon of sorts and I’ve been oblivious to those comments, but do you really want to allow the murmuring of a few to keep us from what would make us happy? Doesn’t that give them entirely too much power?”

“Eric, I just don’t want you to ever be embarrassed by being involved with me.”

“Sookie, exactly what about you do you think would embarrass me. Would it be the fact that you’re beautiful? Or maybe your hard working tenacity to do a job and do it well? Or how about your loyal loving heart? No…I know…it’s the forgiveness you extend to virtual strangers whose past actions have caused you pain.
Love, there is nothing about you that could remotely be embarrassing to me. In my eyes you are as perfect as it gets and I love you.” I put my finger under her chin and lifted her face to me and kissed her gently on the lips.

I could tell her resolve was wavering so I kept pushing.

“So, what do you say? Will you marry me?” She paused for a few seconds before responding.

“On one condition.”

I smiled. My girl was negotiating.

“What’s that?” I’m sure I was beaming by now.

“We get a pre-nup.”

My smile was gone.

“Absolutely not!”

“Eric, I don’t want to go into this without being able to prove that I’m not after your money!” She wasn’t yelling but her voice had picked up an edge.

“Sookie, I don’t know how else to tell you, I don’t think you are after my money!”

We were still speaking at publicly acceptable volumes, but I was grateful the restaurant was almost empty by this time.

“I know you don’t, but everyone else will.” OK, we still weren’t past public opinion like I thought we were.

“OK Sookie, exactly how do you think a pre-nuptial agreement will help?” I asked.
“It will tell everyone that I’m not after your money.”

“And just how will it do that?” Yes, I was baiting her, but I knew that though her heart was in the right place, she hadn’t really thought this through.

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly how do you think signing a pre-nup is going to ‘tell everyone that you are not after my money’? Are you going to go to all these people and tell them that we signed a one? Or are we going to take an ad out in the paper announcing it? Just how will they know that we signed one?”

Once her face registered recognition of what I was saying, I continued.

“Sookie, to you a pre-nuptial agreement says to the world “see, I’m not after his money” but to me it says “I don’t trust that the woman I love loves me and not my money” or worse yet, “my money means more to me than my wife and child.

Besides, all this is a moot point because I have already met with my attorney and accountant and have had you added to all my accounts, trust funds have been set up for the baby and my will has been amended to make you and the baby sole beneficiaries. So a pre-nup would really accomplish nothing.”

Once again I was going about things all wrong. This was not how I intended to tell her about the accounts, but I needed her to know that whatever I had was hers as well. And I did realize that if I handled my business discussions the way I handled discussions in my personal life, I would be one broke ass man!

“You did what?”

“Sookie, what did you expect? I needed the peace of mind that comes from knowing you and the baby will be taken care of if something were to happen to me.” I knew as soon as the words left my mouth I was in trouble.

“And just who do you think took care of me before you came along?!” I told you I was in trouble.

“Damn it Sookie that’s not what I meant. I know you can take care of yourself and even the baby if you had to. But even if you don’t want me taking care of you don’t you think I’m entitled at least having part in taking care of my baby?” I asked.

We finished the rest of our meal in silence. I didn’t feel like we were at a standoff yet but more like each one was considering the position of the other. We ordered dessert, more so because we were holding the table hostage rather than either one of us really wanting it. The waitress topped off our drinks and after placing our desserts on the table, Sookie looked up.

“I’m sorry, I know I sound ungrateful.”

“Sookie, I don’t want your gratitude, all I want is your love and happiness. I had just hoped that being married to me would make you as happy as it would me.”

She turned to me and took my hand that was now fiddling with my unused spoon.

“Nothing would make me happier.” She smiled and for the first time since we left the doctor’s office, it was a true genuine smile.

“Really?” She nodded. “Does this mean you’ll marry me?”

“Yes Eric, I’ll marry you.”

Instantly my lips were on hers.

TBC

Northman and the Nanny Chapter 6

Chapter 6

EPOV

“What in the hell are these women thinking? Can I not catch a damn break?” I groaned.

“Sounds like last week’s date didn’t fare any better than the previous two. Come on…spill.” Bill was in my office for our usual Monday morning debriefing of the previous weekend’s date and frankly, he was taking too much damn pleasure in my distress.

I had been on three dates since my decision to attempt a return to the dating scene and each one had been exponentially worse than the one before.
The first date had been with a preschool teacher friend of Amelia’s; well friend may be a bit of a stretch. Put it this way, they were more than just casual acquaintances but they were not so close that it would be weird if we didn’t hit it off. Thank God for that, because we didn’t hit it off. I had really been looking forward to the date thinking her profession would give us something in common, she obviously loves preschoolers and I happen to have one.

I was pleasantly surprised when she introduced herself to me at the restaurant. She
was a petite brunette, very stylishly dressed with beautiful brown eyes, I was thrilled. Then we sat down at the table and suddenly I went deaf. I mean it; I never heard another word she said. If I said “I’m sorry, what?”or “I didn’t catch that” or hell for that matter, “huh?” once, I said it 75 times during the course of our meal. Seriously, I thought something bad wrong had happened to my hearing all of a sudden. At first I thought it was me, but I could hear all the other sounds around me and was reassured when the waitress had to ask her three times to repeat her meal order. It was fucking ridiculous, and the twisted thing about it was she seemed to enjoy me having to ask her to repeat everything she said, it was as if I was being coerced into being attentive. Finally I gave up and just started nodding and saying “uh huh” to everything she said. There’s no telling what in the hell I agreed to that night since I didn’t speak fluent dog whistle.

The second date was just the opposite but equally as disastrous. Where my first date could be drowned out by the sound of snow falling, the next one could be overheard in the next county and what was worse than that was she said absolutely nothing worth hearing.

I was discouraged but not giving up. Amelia was eager to redeem herself and asked for one more chance to set me up. Since I didn’t do the nightclub thing and I had already ruled any co-worker as off limits, I had few options, so I reluctantly agreed to one more try. Third time’s a charm, right?

Amelia knew this lady from the health club, she was one of the trainers and according to Bill had a body to die for though apparently he’d never seen her, he was just basing this on his wife’s detailed description.

“So man, tell me. Was she smokin’ or what?”

“Oh she was smokin’ alright. She was smokin’ something. It had to have been drugs; no person in their right mind would have behaved the way she did with a complete stranger without the assistance of a pharmaceutical. Right?”

“Oh Lord, what happened with this one?” Bill asked. He had begun to sound as resigned as I was that all of these dates were going to end in ruin.

“OK, but this time keep your hysterics confined to this office, I’m tired of my dates being the source of cartoons and office pools by the rest of the staff.”

“I know…it’s really not nice of them to profit from your misery. Bastards!” I shook my head while he sat there and laughed at his own joke.

“Alright, the date started out pretty good. Just like all the other dates, I met Jessica in front of the restaurant and was impressed to say the least. She was just as beautiful as Amelia said she was. Her boobs may have been a little bigger than ideal for me, but other than that she was perfect.” Bill shook his head at the ‘boob’ comment, in his opinion when it came to boobs, there was no such thing as too big.

“We walked in to the restaurant and she was immediately right on top of me, I mean absolutely no concept of personal space at all. Look, I have no problems with PDA but shit, I am a respected attorney in this town and we did just meet; but damn she was hot so I just pushed down my concerns and decided to enjoy it.” Bill wagged his eyebrows and motioned for me to continue.

“Jessica had requested a “private booth” so after a short wait, the hostess escorted us to over and placed a menu on each side of the table. Jessica took a seat, quickly grabbed the menu from the other side and instructed me to sit beside her rather than across from her… well you know that’s a pet peeve of mine. Normally the only people sitting on the same side of the booth are people that really have no business out in public because they’re all over each other. Besides that, it kinda throws off my sense of balance.” Bill laughed, my OCD tendencies had been the topic of more than one discussion.

“Anyway, I debated internally for a few seconds and decided it wasn’t worth making her feel uncomfortable over, so I sat down beside her. I was still looking at the menu when I felt it…she put her tongue in my ear!” I thought Bill was going to spew his coffee.

“No wait, it gets better.” I paused, waiting for him to regain his composure. “By the time the waiter appeared with our salads, she was practically in my lap, he had barely turned around after putting them on the table when I felt her hand land squarely on my junk.” Bill was in full on hysterics at this point.

“Shut up, you ass! And tell that wife of yours that she is done! I don’t know what sadistic game she’s been playing, but it’s over now!” I was trying my damnedest to sound menacing but the laughter was making it a hard sale.

“So what are you going to do now, man?” Bill said between the laughter.
I cursed my own arrogance for thinking that just because I had finally decided to date again that somehow a line of women would form at my office door that I would just make my selection from.

“I don’t know, I guess it will all work out somehow. Hell, Sookie’s even offering to set me up.”

“Really? With who?”

“I don’t know…she says there are a couple of professors that are friends of hers that she wouldn’t mind setting me up with.”

“You going to do it?”

“Maybe. Couldn’t be any worse than Amelia’s picks, could it?”

“God, I hope not.” He said sympathetically.

~o~O~o~

“Come on Eric, she’s a nice girl…very good looking…and she’s educated…with no apparent ‘junk grabbing’ tendencies.” Sookie tried to contain her giggle.

We had just finished dinner and she and I were clearing the table and loading the dishwasher when she brought up her professor friends again.

“What do you have to lose, except for maybe your virtue.” She wasn’t even trying to contain her laughter any more.

Sookie and I had slipped into an easy friendship over the last few weeks. On Sunday nights when she’d return from her weekend she’d usually join me in the living room for a glass of wine. Holly would already be in bed so we’d talk about our weekends and she’d ask for the ugly details of that week’s dating calamity.

She loved to torment me with whatever tidbits she was able to glean from our conversations and her harassment knew no bounds. This was apparent when I came in the kitchen one morning after telling her about the date with the “dog whisperer” and she and Holly were sitting at the table eating their breakfast, both of them were moving their mouths as if they were carrying on a conversation but no sound was coming out. Yep, the little hussy would stop at nothing, including enlisting the help of my daughter, if it meant she could take a shot at me.

“Ok…ok…set something up and I’ll go, but I swear if she tries to molest me or begins talking incessantly about her mother’s IBS or something equally ridiculous, I’m coming home and kicking your cute little ass out.” I told her, she just shook her ass and laughed.

“Relax Eric; you’ll have fun, trust me.”

The next day Sookie called her friend Pam to make sure she was interested and gave her a heads up that I would be calling her to arrange a day and time.

After speaking to Pam on the phone, I had to admit I was intrigued. She had been witty, intelligent and basically everything Sookie said she would be. We set a date for Saturday night and I was honestly looking forward to it. Things were definitely looking up.

I got home Friday night surprised to find Sookie in the kitchen cooking. Traditionally Friday night was “date night” for me and Holly to spend some time together while Sookie took off to spend her weekend with Sam.

“Hey, to what do I owe this surprise?” I asked as I walked in the kitchen.

“Oh, I hope this is ok. Sam is out of town on business this weekend and Holly mentioned she wasn’t feeling well, so I figured I would cook dinner tonight.” She sounded worried that I would be put out by her decision.

“No, that’s fine. Is Holly ok?” My immediate concern was for my daughter.

“Yeah, it may be the beginning of a bug or something but honestly I just think she’s tired. I sort of wore her out today dragging her from pillar to post running errands.” She said sheepishly.

Before I could go to check on Holly my phone rang.

“Hey man, what’s up?” I asked Bill.

I listened as he told me that Amelia had not been feeling well for the last couple of days and after going to the doctor today they determined that she had the flu so she would be unable to babysit Saturday night.

“No problem man, don’t worry about it. I’ll just postpone the date. Give Amelia my love and tell her I hope she feels better soon.” I said before closing my phone and turning back to Sookie.

“Well, looks like I’ll have to call Pam and postpone, Amelia has the flu.”

“Oh no you don’t mister,” came Sookie’s response, “I’ll watch Holly. You go on your date.”

“Sookie, that’s sweet but this is your time off, you don’t need to be worry about Holly. It’s not a big deal, I will just reschedule for another time.”

“Eric, I have no plans for the weekend so there’s no reason for you to change your plans. Holly and I will have a girl’s night. We’ll go out to eat and to the movies or something.” She offered.

“Why are you pushing so hard for me to go on this date?” I asked warily.
Suddenly Sookie’s expression changed and she became very serious.

“You deserve to be happy Eric and I think Pam may be able to make you happy.” I was stunned; this was not the response I was expecting and I certainly didn’t know how to respond back.

I pulled her to me, gave her a quick hug and whispered.

“Thank you.”

~o~O~o~

I was cautiously optimistic that first night, I had really enjoyed talking to her on the phone but would she measure up in person? I decided, in light of my last date, a change of venue would be appropriate so she met me in front of the new Italian place a few blocks over from the office. As I was walking toward the restaurant and

I saw her before she noticed me giving me the opportunity to unabashedly look her over. She was tall, much taller than anyone I could recall ever dating and I would be lying if I said it didn’t intimidate me just slightly.

I walked up and introduced myself and greeted each other like old friends. We talked about general topics such as music, literature and even sports and I was stunned by the broad range of knowledge she had as I peppered her with question after question. The conversation flowed freely all evening, there were no awkward silences or lulls and I quickly found myself wanting to see her again.

By the second date it had become a habit to either text or speak to each other by phone almost daily and the conversations became more and more personal. I was surprised when I found out Pam was a Professor of Geological Sciences; I had assumed her connection to Sookie had been through classes but apparently that was not the case. It was then I realized how little Sookie had actually told me about Pam.

“Then you and Sookie never had class together?” I asked as the waiter brought out another glass of wine for the both of us.

“No,” she laughed, “I think Sookie is an English or Journalism major or something like that my…classes are definitely not part of that curriculum.”

“No, I suppose not.” I chuckled with her.

“She and I met in the library late one evening and became fast friends after that.”

“So, what did Sookie tell about our relationship?” I asked curious about how Sookie described me.

I saw her stiffen a little and adjust her posture so that she was sitting a little straighter in the chair.

“Just that you were a friend of hers. Why? Are you an ex-boyfriend or something?” I could see she was really getting uncomfortable.

“No, no…Nothing like that.” I mentally played back all of our previous conversations and paused as it hit me, she probably doesn’t know I have a child! I took a deep breath before spitting my next sentence. “Sookie’s my nanny.”

If she was uncomfortable before, she was downright miserable now. She looked down at her wine glass for a few moments before picking it up to take another swallow, her eyes never leaving the glass. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she spoke without looking up at me.

“Do you have a boy or girl?”

“Little girl.”

“How old is she?”

“She’ll be five in a couple of months.”

I could feel myself getting defensive. I didn’t know whether to be pissed at Sookie for not giving her a heads up or pissed at myself for assuming she knew. I knew Pam was trying to process the information she had just been given but her reaction was definitely not the one I was hoping for.

“Pam, if this is going to be an issue, I need to know now.”

“Well, I’ll admit this was not something I was expecting. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like kids, it’s just that I’ve never been really good with them.”

“Did you ever see yourself having children in the future?” If neither of us had children this would never be a conversation I would have at this stage of the game,
but since I did have one, I felt it was a fair question.

“Honestly Eric, I don’t know, but I do know that I like you enough to consider it.”

SPOV

After finding out that Eric had begun dating, Sam seemed to be less antagonistic about my job settling into a quasi state of acceptance. I knew he still wasn’t happy about it but at least he no longer voiced his dissatisfaction.

The fighting had stopped but surprisingly, I still had this uneasy feeling when I got to Sam’s on the weekends. I had fooled myself into believing that as soon as he came to grips with my new job we would go back to being happy like before but now I was having a hard time remembering when we were happy. Oh stop it Sookie! You know you were happy once.

I cursed my impatience vowing to give our relationship the time it needed to heal from the previous strain.

TBC