Chapter 30
SPOV
“Amelia, please…stop thanking me. This is as much the perfect solution for me as it is for you. I’m just happy you’re going to be staying here.”
Since I had told Amelia about my plans to stay in Shreveport, we’d been discussing several options about what to do with Gran’s house then she asked how I felt about Tray moving in. Apparently Tray had been renting a small place on the outskirts of town and was paying way too much for way too little. They had plans to get a place together soon and while money was no issue for Amelia, admirably Tray had insisted on doing it on his own.
We agreed Tray would move in, I would put most of Gran’s furniture and things in a climate controlled storage unit and since the house had three bedrooms, my room would remain untouched. They would pay just enough rent to cover the annual property taxes and the monthly rent on the storage unit and I was beyond thrilled that someone would be taking care of the property and Amelia and Tray would be able to squirrel away a nest egg for their future home. It was a win, win.
“Well thank you again, I’m happy this worked out, I’ve really missed you and I’m so happy you’re home for a visit.” Amelia said while hugging me yet again.
Home. I left for Shreveport planning only to be gone two short weeks and here it was almost seven weeks later and Bon Temps didn’t really feel much like home anymore.
When I decided to stay I called Sam and told him of my decision, offering to come home and work out a notice if it was going to put him in a bind. Sam had always been good to me and I was not going to burn that bridge but he guaranteed me that it wouldn’t be a problem. He had recently added a couple of new employees to his wait staff and they were all working out well. While he assured me he would miss me, he seemed almost happy about my decision telling me that he wanted what was best for me. I promised to stop by and see him anytime I was in Bon Temps and invited him to visit anytime he found himself in Shreveport.
“Well, I missed you too and besides we need to get all this stuff packed up to make room for Tray’s things.”
Tara had gotten a sitter and Amelia had taken a couple of days off to spend time with me and help me sort through what was going back to Shreveport with me and what was being sent to storage. I had to admit has happy as I was with Eric, I had miss time with my girls.
“So what is lover boy doing while you’re here slumming it in Bon Temps?” Tara said with a chuckle.
“He’s up to his ass in alligators at work right now. Every since we discovered the possibility of impropriety within the company he’s been swamped.” I answered.
“How are you doing with him being so busy?” Angela asked.
“I’m fine. Most days I go to the office with him and work on my stuff and then some days I stay home, enjoy the sun or go shopping and then meet him for lunch.” I said grabbing another box to fill with clothes.
“You don’t feel lonely?” Tara asked.
“Not yet. I actually have quite a few fund raisers I’m working on, so I’m spending a lot of time learning everything I can about planning those events but I am looking into to going back to school as soon as I can decide where I want to concentrate my studies...besides, Executive Northman is fucking sexy! ” The both broke out laughing but with puzzled looks.
“Executive Northman?” Tara grinned.
“Yea, that’s who Eric becomes when he’s at the office...” I could feel the blush on my face rising with my confession. “Guys you wouldn’t believe it…it’s like he’s a different person, all professional, confident and authoritative like. It. Is. Hot. As. Hell! I’m telling you…put that man in a suit and its panty changing time!” At this point we were all laughing our asses off.
Even through their laughter I could see the surprised looks on their faces. I’m sure my candor was what had them startled. In the past I’ve never really been one to talk so freely about someone I was dating and I had to wonder if there had been some change in me or was it that I was finally excited about who I was dating.
“Good for you, Sookie. We’re so happy for you.” Amelia said giving me a heartfelt smile.
“So tell us…what’s it like being the girlfriend of a multi millionaire?” Tara blushed as she asked the question.
“It’s fantastic! I highly recommend it.” We were giggling like junior high girls talking about boys at a slumber party.
“Sookie, you know you never did get around to telling us about your first date.” Amelia said as she taped up the box she had packed.
Ah yes…our first date…
“Dress casually and that’s all I’m telling you.” Eric said.
I had been hounding him all day trying to get any information I could out of him about our date for that evening, but he wasn’t budging. Being overwhelmed had become a constant state of mind for me since my introduction into Eric’s world. Everything the man did was on a grand scale; his home, his company, his cars…everything, so I couldn’t have been more surprised or relieved when he suggested casual dress.
Eric had gotten dressed while I was in the shower and then disappeared. He said it was so I could get dressed in peace but I suspected he was in the library checking on the status of things at his office.
I quickly dried my hair then went to the closet to decide what to wear smiling at the fact that my side of the closet was slowly filling in. I finally settled on a new sundress I had picked up at the mall the day before with a pair of strappy sandals that I purchased to complete the outfit.
I was just finishing up and coming out of the bedroom when I heard the doorbell ring. Since there was no alert from the gate, I assumed it was just one of the groundskeepers in need of something.
“I’ve got it.” I called as I came down the hall as I figured Eric was still engrossed in whatever he was doing in the library.
I finished placing the back on my earring as I reached the door, took one quick glance in the mirror hanging in the entrance way and then opened the door.
“Hello Beautiful, are you ready?”
There on the other side of the door was Eric looking totally fuckable in a pair of straight leg jeans that made his already long legs stretch on for days, topped off with a light purple button down shirt that showed off his deepening tan. Suddenly I no longer wanted to go out, I wanted to grab him by the hand and pull him straight back to the bedroom I had just exited and have my wanton way with him all night long.
“Sookie? Are you ready?” He asked again shaking me out of my haze.
“Hmm…yes I’m ready.” I replied trying to regain my composure.
Eric stepped behind me to lock the door and that’s when I noticed a silver Mercedes SLR Roaster convertible sitting in the driveway with the top down.
“Are we going in that?”
“Yes, is that a problem?” He asked obviously taken aback by my question.
“When did you get clearance to drive?”
Since his discharge from the hospital, Clancy had driven us everywhere we needed to go, including my trips to the mall and since he had also taken and picked us up from the office today, I feared Eric was planning to go against doctor’s orders.
“Today. I wanted to surprise you. Are you ok with riding with me?” I could hear the slight fear of rejection in his voice.
“Eric...you know I trust you.”
“Good then, let’s get going.” He said kissing my forehead before opening my door.
“So where are we going?” I asked when he got in the car.
“Remos. It’s a little Italian place I know.” He said pulling my hand to his lips and kissing the back of it.
We drove in comfortable silence holding hands and enjoying the music and the evening air. Every so often I would steal a look at Eric only to find him staring and smiling at me.
“What?” I asked.
“I love you, that’s what,” was his only response.
A few minutes later we pulled in to a parking lot and I heard Eric laugh at the shocked look on my face.
“I told you it was ‘a little Italian place I know’”
Little did not begin to describe this place. ‘Hole in the wall’ would be giving this place too much credit.
“Give the place a chance Love, I promise they have the best pizza in Louisiana.”
“Oh I don’t have a problem eating here; I’m just completely floored that you would eat here.”
“Sookie Stackhouse! I am offended that you feel that way.” He cried with mock indignation.
“Whatever.” I gave him my best eye roll.
I am not exaggerating when I say the joint was about the width of a singlewide trailer, matter of fact the place was so narrow the dining tables were outside on a make shift deck. We walked in and were greeted by a middle aged lady who you could tell just by her air of authority that she owned the place.
“Eric, it’s so nice to see you again. It’s been way too long, we’ve missed you.”
“Thank you Octavia, I’ve missed you too.” Eric said giving the portly lady a gentle hug.
“So, who is this you’ve brought with you?” She asked once we arrived at our table.
“Octavia, I would like for you to meet my girlfriend, Ms. Sookie Stackhouse.”
“Girlfriend, huh?” She said as she seemed to size me up.
I extended my hand to her but she was having not part of that, instead she grabbed me and quickly pulled me into a hug.
“Well, Ms. Sookie Stackhouse, I am damn happy to meet you. I don’t believe I have ever seen our boy here look as happy as he does right now, so I can only assume we have you to thank for that?”
“Well, I’d like to think I’ve had a little something to do with it.” I smiled.
Eric pulled me to him. “She’s had everything to do with it.”
We took our seats and Octavia relayed our drink orders to a passing waitress.
“So, how did you two meet?” Octavia asked as she took a seat beside Sookie.
“Sookie helped take care of me while I was…um…uh in the hospital recovering.” I could hear the strain in Eric’s voice recounting the circumstances that by which we met and suddenly I was hit with an overwhelming fear. This was it. This was the fly in the proverbial ointment and what would be the end to my fairy tale. No matter what we had between us, our relationship would always be tainted by the loss that led to our introduction. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and just before I became engulfed by despair, Eric continued.
“I would have never made it without her; she’s one good thing that came out of that tragedy.” I offered a small smile but I could see the look of concern on Eric’s face at my reaction.
We chatted for a few more moments. Octavia offered her condolences to Eric then told us to enjoy our meal and she would check back with us later.
“So Love, do you want to tell me what that was all about a while ago?” He asked as he reached for my hand across the table.
“Honestly?”
“Always.” He said with a nod.
“It’s just dawned on me that every time someone asks how we met it’s going to automatically remind you of a horrible time in your life and frankly that worries me.”
“Sookie, I seriously doubt there will ever be a day that I don’t remember Pam and the horrible way that I lost her, but at least now I have something happy to tie to that memory.” His eyes were pleading as he continued to talk. “Don’t you see, without you it would all be bad? I would be without hope, without love.”
“I love you Eric.” I said as I fought the urge to leap across the table to grab and hold him.
“I know you do Love…and that…and that alone, is what has gotten me through, please don’t ever doubt that.”
Fortunately our pizza arrived and the heavy air that had settled around us was gone. We ate in silence for a few minutes both lost in our own thoughts.
“So, was I right? Is this the best pizza in Louisiana?”
“Yes Mr. Northman, I believe your assessment was correct.” I agreed.
“Told ya.” He muttered like a third grader.
“Ok Mr. I-Told-You-So, where to next?”
“The movies.”
“Wait. You’re telling me Mr. I’ve-Got-More-Money-Than-God took you for pizza and a movie for your first date? What the hell?”
“Yes ma’am and it was perfect!” Tara looked at me like I was crazy while Amelia gave me a knowing nod.
“Eric understands how uncomfortable his money makes me, so the fact that he chose to impress me by being doing less rather than more, just made it all the more perfect.” I explained.
“Sookie, you are a mystery. Most women will kill for a man to spend money on them and lavish them will all manner of gifts and here you sit with a man willing to do just that and you’re Jonesin’ for pizza and a movie.” Tara shook her head and I shrugged my shoulders. What can I say?
We finished separating and packing up the items in my room then Tara needed to get back to Nava so she said her goodbyes and Amelia and I moved on to tackle the living room.
“So how is Eric taking everything?” Amelia asked as we settled on the floor to wrap up all of Gran’s knic knacs.
“Honestly Amelia, I’m not sure …but I can’t help but think it really hasn’t completely hit him yet. I mean, he’s cried a couple of times, and I know everybody grieves differently, but really think that between me being there and what’s going on now at the company…well I just don’t think it’s all sunk in yet.” I could feel the tears that were pooling in my eyes as my heart hurt for him.
“Aw, honey…” she consoled, “you’re probably right, but you know guys handle these things differently. All you can do is be there if and when it happens.” I knew she was right but it did little to dissipate the helplessness that I felt.
We worked for the next hour or so wrapping each item in the living room and packing it carefully away in the storage boxes. We had made plans to go to Merlotte’s later; Tara was going to join us along with most of the rest of the gang. They already wanted to nail down our plans for the Fourth; it seemed that everyone was really excited about the prospect of coming back to Eric’s.
“So, since we can’t do much more until the guys get here to move furniture, what else do you need to do today?” I asked Amelia.
“I really need to go grocery shopping and get a few things, especially since all the guys will be here later. I need to at least get some beer.”
“Well, why don’t I help you get a list together and we’ll shoot over there and knock this out?”
This had been a weekly routine of ours to sit down and compile a list together and then one or the other would go do the actual shopping, occasionally when our schedules would allow we would go together and they were always the best trips.
“Perfect.” Amelia said then she began rattling off things she needed.
“Can you think of anything I may have forgotten?” She asked several items later.
“What about toiletries…deodorant…toothpaste …tampons?” I offered.
“Nope, good on deodorant and toothpaste and I just bought two boxes of tampons when I was on my period week before last.”
Week before last? We had always been on the same schedule before. Shit! When was the last time I had my period?
“Sookie, what’s the matter? Your face is white as a sheet.” Amelia asked concerned.
“I think we may need to add a pregnancy test to the list.”
We decided to forgo all the other items on the list and instead concentrate just on the last one. Amelia drove me to the drug store down the street as I found my hands were shaking too hard to get my keys in the door.
“Don’t panic Sookie; a late period doesn’t always result in babies.”
I could hear her words but none of them made sense. The only thing I could hear was my own head screaming, “how in the hell could this happen?!?”
We quickly made our way down the aisle that held life changing little boxes and not trusting my fate to just one, I bought five, each one a different brand. When we got back to the house and I was still working on the 2nd bottle of water that Amelia had given me before we left.
“Trust me, I can pee on demand but even I had a hard time producing for this.” She said as she arranged each test on its own little stack of paper towels. It was apparent this was not her first time with this particular scene but that was a conversation for another time.
After a sample was collected and all the tests had been exposed, we went to the kitchen to grab a glass of tea and wait. Amelia made small talk trying to keep my mind off my evolving fate in the other room. The questions were killing me. How? What would this mean for Eric and me? How was he going to feel? Would he think I was trying to trap him?
“Sookie?” Amelia said trying to get my attention.
“Hmm?” I said finally looking up at her.
“Honey your phone is ringing.” She said pointing to my phone lying on the table bouncing around from the vibration.
I picked up the phone and saw who the caller was.
“It’s Eric.” I said almost pleading to her for guidance.
“Sookie, if you don’t answer it, he’s going to get worried. Just be calm, you don’t have to tell him anything yet, because you don’t know anything yet.”
I took a deep breath and flipped open the phone.
“Hello.”
Nothing. There was no “hello”, no sound, nothing. Just when I decided he had probably just “pocket called” me, I heard a faint sniffle.
“Eric? Is that you?” The crying became a little louder.
“Sookie…” His voice was pained and he was no longer trying to suppress the sobs.
“Eric, baby…what’s wrong?” I was beginning to panic. Was he hurt? Was he in some type of trouble?
“Sookie come home…please?”
“Eric, where are you?”
“Pam’s.” His answer barely audible.
I got the address and told him I was on my way. Amelia grabbed the phone and quickly punched the address in to my GPS application for turn by turn directions while I grabbed a couple of the boxes I had packed and threw them in the car. I was closing the trunk when Amelia came out carrying my phone, purse and a shoe box.
“The tests are in here, I closed my eyes as I put them in the box. This is your secret to handle as you see fit but just know, if you need anything…anything at all…I’m here for you and this will always be home.” I thanked her as she hugged me tight. I put the box on the seat beside me and I quickly pulled out of the drive way and sped my way toward Shreveport.
The trip seemed to drag on forever, although I was making record time. At every stop sign and traffic light that caught me I waged a war within myself to open the box. Multiple times I put my hand on the lid and grasped the edge ready to flip it off and multiple times I returned my hand to my lap after losing my nerve.
“You have arrived at your destination.” Chirped the voice on my phone as I turned right into Pam’s drive way.
Pam’s house was a lot different than Eric’s but no less impressive. I pulled my car behind Eric’s and turned it off. I grabbed my cell phone and slid it in to my pocket and opened the door to get out but just before exiting the car I flipped the lid off the box.
o~O~o
“Eric?” I called as I came through the front door.
“Eric!” I yelled a little louder.
“In here.” I heard his muffled cry.
I walked toward the direction of his voice and soon I could hear his faint sobs so I quickly made my way to what was apparently Pam’s bedroom. I looked around hurriedly but didn’t see him; I quickly went toward the bathroom when I heard another cry coming from the closet. I walked into the closet to find him sitting on the floor holding an arm full of her clothes, sobbing. I sat down beside him on the floor and pulled him to me. He quickly wrapped his arms around me as I cradled his head to my breast and his sobs became uncontrollable.
I held and rocked him gently while he cried. I had lost all concept of time but the light coming through the windows in Pam’s bedroom told me that we had been sitting there for quite a while.
“She’s gone.” He startled me when he finally spoke.
“I know baby…I’m sorry.” I knew from experience that nothing anybody could say at a time like this would make pain go away.
“We had so many plans, so many things we wanted to do…to accomplish with the company. We were about to open the New York office. She was getting married for shit’s sake! And now it’s gone. It’s all gone and I’m all alone.”
I felt myself flinch when he said he was alone and I fought back the hurt because I knew he was hurting.
“You have me.” I choked out.
He pulled away from me and looked at me as he cupped my face in his hands and crushed his lips to mine. This kiss was different and unlike any kiss we had ever shared before. There was no gentleness, no caring. This kiss was about need…about urgency. This kiss was about the need to connect to another living person and the urgency to wipe out an overwhelming feeling of despair.
“I know Sookie, but it’s not the same.” He said willing me to understand. “I have no family.” He said and the sobs began again. “Today I realized I have no blood ties to any other living person. I’m alone.”
The despair in his voice was killing me. I mean Jason may not have always been the best brother, but at least I knew no matter what, no matter how mad he made me or I made him, he would love me. I was family. I was blood. And that wouldn’t change. The loneliness had to be devastating. I didn’t know what I could do to help. I wasn’t sure how to make his pain and hurt go away but I had to do something.
“Not for long.”
The words were out of my mouth before I realized it and although they came out as a whisper, there was no mistaking that he heard them.
TBC
